Day 1036

21 August 2011
Shit! I m infected! i thought i am immune to worries after such a long time. But no, this feeling just came back to me. It was a Sunday today. Woke up 9 in the morning... With tonnes of things in my mind whole night long... it wasn't a good night sleep. Why is this thing bothering me so much.
I am keeping my promise. I hope that i can still be the one for you. I really do. But something triggers that feeling. It has been so long time and i was not shaken. I don't know what to do next. I feel so sorry. It's painful. I did enjoy keeping the promise until today. It was miserable.
I even think of giving up after all this time... But i do not know what is right and what is wrong now. I should not give up unless you give me up. Or is that you already gave up on me. Just that i am the one keeping this promise. Laugh out loud in pain... I wanted to ask you... but the courage isn't there. Why baby why? What should i do now? i seriously hope that someone can give me some advice. Or perhaps someone who i can talk to, to wake me up and let me know what am i doing. It's painful. So painful that i don't feel like eating... so painful that it penetrates my soul... so painful... Are you the one for me is now in a question mark instead of a full stop...

Day 1025

I thought that i can give up this blog. =)
I wish i did forget about this blog. =)
Why am i still here counting the days?
I still recall, just few months back in May, i saw your post on facebook. I know that you're now home. Welcome home. How i wish i can meet you sometimes. Just randomly may do. You must be doing well. I know that you had found a job. Good luck and enjoy your time there. Take care. I am still here. Wonder when will i leave? or should i say, wonder when will you come back to me? =)

Day 666

21th July 2010
Wednesday
Insane day... 666 is actually a so called bad day. But, that is not cared upon anyway. I woke up around 7 in the morning... lets skip... went to attend engagement of my sis and her bf from Taiwan. Her dad treat us to lunch, then went to JPJ with Alvin Koh n LKB. Anyway, this is just the content. What happen is at night... The party. I went with Delon... reached around 7. Sanity is never the word to describe the night. Human crowd... i hate it... Smoking for the first time... i did it... and... i don't like it. Feels like choking... Jokes throughout the night... n rain falls. You always came into my mind when the rain falls down. I wonder why? There are always some moments of silence for me when i think of you. Leaving the insane crowd for a few minutes to reminisce our time together... Perhaps it is the engagement, the ring...
I even go count the date to day... and i get 666...
i am always so speechless when it comes to you... Double clicking your msn... and yet don't know how to start. What a failure i am... KEEP UP! ACCA FIRST! THEN I CAN COME FOR U... this is what i can tell myself everything i can't find the courage to face you...

Days xxx (Lost Count)

22th June 2010
Tuesday
On the 9th of June, i have finished F8, Audit. I m now closer to my promise. I wonder, if you still remember? Or perhaps, you have forgotten about it... None the less... i will keep my promise. Hopefully, by December 2011, I can face you with ACCA in my hands... Hopefully... I do miss you. I really do...

Day 519

24th February 2010
Wednesday
Yesterday, Tuesday, class day. LOL! I woke up early around 8, for my notes. LOL! I am 3 chapters behind. So, i spent nearly the whole day working on my notes. After completing Chapter 4, i feel tired. So, i rest a bit, then continue with it until nearly 1pm. Finally, Chapter 5. Of course, i can't finish it. So, i rest some more, when i go to school around 5, i continue with it. Luckily, Chapter 5 also complete. Left chapter 6. Luckily, the lecturer didn't check on it. Anyway, i did try to complete it. Just left chapter 6. Anyway, the day was spent mostly on Audit Notes. LOL! Tired! Yet fulfilled. LOL!
Today, i woke up 11 something. It must be that i m really tired from what have been slowing me down. After knowing that i pass my F5 and F9, i am more stress free. But, i still feel the pressure. Haha. Good thing. F8, is a must to complete this June. P papers, will be completed by 2011. Hopefully, everything are on time. Good Luck! All the best! So i can confess to you, closer to complete. No matter what the outcome is. Perhaps, what they told me are true. You had already gave up on me. But, at least, i don't want regrets. Leaving is already a big regret. Hope everything can go well.
Night fall, Tiff called and we went out, she get the songs she wants. It have been ages since she asked me for the songs. LOL! Finally, she got it. 4gb+ of songs. LOL! Treated to Starbucks + a cup of hot chocolate. Thanks. XD Didn't know 4gb of songs worth this much. LOL!
This should be all for now. GO! GO! GO! Dream is not a dream when there is ACTION!

Day 517

22th February 2010
Monday
Today is the day. Result is coming out. The morning... I tried to keep myself calm by doing F8 notes. However, after completing Chapter 4, i feel lazy. So, i on drama and started watching. Around 1, i starts to get nervous while waiting for ACCA website to load. Daniel called and told me that he pass. That makes me more nervous. After awhile, i finally went into the site. Shocked! I pass both papers! Excitement and achievement. F5 got 63! A 6x marks is very rare for F5 and i really do have a feeling of achievement. LOL! Congratulations to myself. Of course, to all my classmates and juniors too. Congratulations! Keep it UP! The afternoon was spent with the 2 Alvins. We went to Gizmo for some games. Home... LoL! So, this is all for today.
Few days ago... lols... I just remember yesterday, i saw ur FB posts and MSN post. I feel like knowing why... but i never ask. I don't dare to ask? LOL!...

Day 513

18th February 2010
Thursday
Few days ago, was Chinese New Year. Busy with visiting. But that is not me. I just stay at home... LOL! Boring? Perhaps. But, it is like usual. Only that i went to Gizmo with The alvins. LOL! So lame... CNY go gizmo play games. LOL!!! That was on the 16th.
Next day... Spent whole day at home. LOL!!! TV and laptop are my best friends. LOL!!!
Today, i follow my friends out for visiting. It was 10 something when they came. After that, we went out for more visiting. Delon's first. Then went to Mdm Laura's house. LOL! Her kids are kinda cute. But, i wont change my mind for that. I like children, but i won't want them. Bringing them to the world, is like giving them worries and suffering. LOL! After that, we went to Ryann's house too. After that, we went to Wendy's. She is FTMS staff. LoL! Her house was quite big. After that, i went home and Delon follows. Awhile later, Daniel came. So, we together went off to pick Wei Wei then went to Chen Pin's. Secondary school's classmate. LOL! Had some chat, then we went to Wei Wei's house. We were suppose to visit Delon's and stay at his house having liquor until a certain time. But, Daniel was tired. LOL! So, the plan canceled. LOL!!!
That's all for today. Haiz... ...