Day 1036

21 August 2011
Shit! I m infected! i thought i am immune to worries after such a long time. But no, this feeling just came back to me. It was a Sunday today. Woke up 9 in the morning... With tonnes of things in my mind whole night long... it wasn't a good night sleep. Why is this thing bothering me so much.
I am keeping my promise. I hope that i can still be the one for you. I really do. But something triggers that feeling. It has been so long time and i was not shaken. I don't know what to do next. I feel so sorry. It's painful. I did enjoy keeping the promise until today. It was miserable.
I even think of giving up after all this time... But i do not know what is right and what is wrong now. I should not give up unless you give me up. Or is that you already gave up on me. Just that i am the one keeping this promise. Laugh out loud in pain... I wanted to ask you... but the courage isn't there. Why baby why? What should i do now? i seriously hope that someone can give me some advice. Or perhaps someone who i can talk to, to wake me up and let me know what am i doing. It's painful. So painful that i don't feel like eating... so painful that it penetrates my soul... so painful... Are you the one for me is now in a question mark instead of a full stop...

Day 1025

I thought that i can give up this blog. =)
I wish i did forget about this blog. =)
Why am i still here counting the days?
I still recall, just few months back in May, i saw your post on facebook. I know that you're now home. Welcome home. How i wish i can meet you sometimes. Just randomly may do. You must be doing well. I know that you had found a job. Good luck and enjoy your time there. Take care. I am still here. Wonder when will i leave? or should i say, wonder when will you come back to me? =)