Day 110

11st January 2009
Sunday
Last night i sleep quite early. So, was able to wake up early today. I got dreams. Yes. Odd dreams. I dreamt of you as well. First was my bro and some i don't know in real life but was a friend in the dream. We was like pilot of aircraft. We work together as a team and defeat the enemy team. It was like a race. @@ Really odd.
Then, after the race, they asked me to take my girl go have a vacation. Yes, that my girl is you. We are like usual. I feel happy when i see you. LOL! It was like nothing ever happen, i was feeling so blissful. ^^
We went to had a swim. Really odd thing is that, it was a waterfall of blue rocks, blue cliffs and green water. @@ You are like so happy. But... only awhile. Such happy moment always pass so quickly. You go into the water and i did follow. Dive~ then... someone came and raise you up while i... still in the dive while seeing you being taken away. If not mistaken, he was Ban Leong. My BF ( Best Friend). Oh... since i know you will be in good hand, i slowly emerge. But... when i surface, i don't see you anymore. I feel sad. Really... really i feel sad. You are gone. Just like that, i can't see you anymore. I woke up, knowing that it was just a dream. Yes... it is only a dream... but i can feel the sorrow that runs in my veins...
Anyway, i woke up from my dream, i go to the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. Since my parents are taking me for breakfast later, i need to prepare myself to go out. ==
So... after breakfast, went to market and buy groceries. This time, we are going to buy and stock up for Chinese New Year. LOL!!!
I hate today. Some how, i don't feel good. The rain water, the air, the dream... and you... i feel lost all of a sudden...
I went to had a nap when i reach home. I feel... tired. After a short nap, i on my laptop and starts my download. Then, i went back to the sofa and get a short rest. Wonder why i feel so tired? Blacked Out... It took only a few seconds, i was like fall asleep...
Wake after a few minutes, sleep a few minutes. The whole afternoon was spend waking and sleeping. Really blurred.
After dinner, the rain finally stopped. So, since the rain stopped, my dad wanted me to join him to go to Bloulevard. He wanted to get like everything stock up and really prepare for CNY ( Chinese New Year)
Oh man... so, i followed. So... the day was spent. Hope that i can do what i wanted to do tomorrow. Homework. LOL!
I know, tomorrow you will be going back to Kampar. Don't know how to say good bye... So might as well say it here again. You know i am not someone with courage. It really takes a lot out of me to tell you that i love you. i do remember the time when i was with you, all that we had been through, i really miss the time. i also know, i wasted a lot of time on myself rather than on you. I am selfish. Really a bad guy. But i will try to improve. I will try. When i am ready, hopefully, i still got the chance to come back to you. But, since i gave myself and you freedom to choose, there is always a better guy out there who will love you more than i do. If you really found one, i will always wish you bliss and happiness forever... Good Bye for now... and take care of yourself.
What is my priority now? ACCA
But my mind has been giving me problems. Many concepts, thoughts have come up in my mind. I was asked, what if you really get what you want, you got millions, but you have lost your love ones... is it worth it? The time all spend on pursueing your dream while u neglect all others... Is it worth it???
I don't know... But at least i believe... That will be my priority. Besides, i believe in fate. Not Destiny.
Time to sleep... Good night!