Day 168

10th March 2009
Tuesday
Giving up soon... This 3 words storm my mind for hours, days, weeks and even month. Yet i never care. I am still hanging on. Haha... This is some motivation by friends and family. But i don't really feel happy hanging on. Everyone thinks this is what i want, but no one know what i ever wanted. But who cares what i want. Even i don't care, why would others? So just bear with it. Life is like this, you don't do what you want to do, you do what you must do.
It was 7 in the morning when i was awaken by my brother to go down for breakfast with them.
It was only 730 when i came home. I took out the book and start reading. I just spend my time reading and not noting down anything.
So, basically, just pure reading. Then i feel tired... i go to sleep. LOL! That is like around 9am only! When i woke up, it was already 1130. Gosh~ Sleep King!
When i woke up, time for lunch. After lunch, i watch DVD with my brother and i carry on after he left. But luckily i still can stop. Luckily! It was 2pm when i stop. I started on my revision and noting the important parts... at least i think it is important. I can see that it is almost done! The whole book! Hahaha! Anyway, i didn't finish the book yet. I think within this week, i must finish the whole law Book! It was 4pm when i stopped. Guess what i did? I go to sleep again. SLEEP KING! This title is surely MINE! Wahahahahaha! Oh, forget to mention, before i sleep, i was online msn and chatting. I saw my Big Sis! So, we were chatting. It was like about 5pm, i off and go to sleep. LOL!
Then, just few minutes later, my dad came home and asked me to follow him to the bank. So, i go bathe and went to bank with him. After the transaction, we went for dinner then wait for my brother. It was only 6 something then.
After that, i went... i follow my parents to "confess" to God. This is a every Tuesday thing. But i feel... sometimes, feel relief, sometimes, i feel like they never care. So, sometime i would cry for no reason. LOL! I think i got tired.
Anyway, life is like this. Who are never in a stress? If God always attend to you and only you, how about those that are more unfortunate than you? There are people who are less fortunate and suffer more pain and stress. I understand this failure is a really big impact on your mentality and spirit, but please, confidence can be earned back. This failure may cost you everything, but earning it back bits by bits is always better than sit there and cry and give up.
I know, i feel tired of doing i don't like to do, but life is not about what you like to do, it is about what you must do!
It is almost time now. Good Night!